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As I kept having to pull my strapless Playboy bunny costume back up I had an unfortunate realization: I will not be able to wear this costume to compete. (Sidenote: lesson learned – don’t wear your costume just one time the night before a performance to rehearse.) 

I had planned an entire social commentary about the duality and double standard that exists in regard to women’s sexuality as the basis for my routine, with myself wearing a gold sequin Playboy Bunny costume to complete the look. However, as I began to rehearse the night before competition day I realized that this costume just wasn’t going to work. It didn’t fit. It was loose in some areas and tight in others; I thought it would be fine when I first bought it, but “fine” standing in a mirror and “fine” while dancing are two different versions of fine.

Luckily, TJ Maxx didn’t let me down! I found a suitable replacement – a gold and white bikini combo that I could easily hot glue a bunny tail onto and still use the ears – but it just wasn’t the same. 

This one small change definitely changed the tone of the entire performance. Instead of a satirical performance, it was a little more overtly sexual than I planned. Next time (and note to all other performers!) I’ll definitely prepare a little more consulting wise.

That aside, PSO Round #2 was an absolute blast! Not only was it a great time to perform and bond with other pole dance performers, I learned more about myself, who I am as a dancer, and who I am as a performer. 

Most people compete to win; I don’t. Most people compete at their competitive level; I don’t. I compete at my learning level, so I know what my shortcomings are, where I fit, my strengths, and my weaknesses. I compete to learn and to grow. I’ve taken away some great words of advice and other revelations from watching other competitors. The best way to learn is just to put yourself out there, and I have. I know I need to better weave in what I’m learning into my routines and my freestyles, instead of shorting myself when I know I can execute a higher level move.

Nonetheless, I’m going to keep competing and keep workshopping all of my ideas and performances. To all of the performers out there who feel like they don’t measure up to the competition: keep going! You will! Don’t ever lose yourself because of one singular day.