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EVER WANTED TO KNOW SPECIFICS ABOUT POLE DANCING, BUT TOO AFRAID TO ASK ME? A family friend was asking about pole dance a little while ago, and it dawned on me that some people might be too embarrassed to ask specific questions, but I’m an open book about the hobby I love most, so I decided to write this FAQ/blog post to help others understand. Read away, friends! 

Honestly the hardest part about pole dance is believing in yourself and having the motivation to learn and grow better every day and not comparing yourself to others. Being that pole dance is a very niche, misunderstood, and 18+ hobby, many people don’t find pole dance until later in their lives (mine included, late 20s). So your competition can be someone like you who has been only dancing for a few years, or you might be up against a prima ballerina, someone who has a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts), someone who has been dancing since they were 3-4, a newly 18/19 year old who is still flexible as fuck and still in decent high school shape, etc. You have to remember that everyone has their own journey and experiences, and many people find pole dancing in different ways. Just because you haven’t been dancing/moving for 20+ years does NOT discredit your talent. It’s hard to remember that, especially if you’re someone like me, who literally hates each and every single other movement based activity (working out, strength, sports, etc.) 

Pole is for every body, but every move is not for every body. People of all genders, sexual orientations, body types, and races join pole. One of the parts that I love most about this community is how inclusive we are. Plus size down to size 00 - all are welcome. We are allies and cultivate safe spaces for all individuals. 

Pole dance is this very unique and super cool blend of different dance fusions. I’ve learned movements from all over the dance-sphere: hip-hop, jazz, tap, ballet, salsa! Each dancer is also unique with their own style and movements. Some dancers choose to show some more skin for a sexier look, while others cultivate more of a gymnastic-acrobatic type presence. I’ll break down the most common categories:

-Pole Sport: Pole sport is generally for those who aren’t really into the “performative/artistic/theater/sexy” type routines. This is generally judged on a “technique” scale, which looks at how well you executed your movements. Pole sport dancers typically have more of a rhythmic gymnastics vibe, less about telling a story or flow, but more about executing high level tricks perfectly.

-Comedy: Both the categories of comedy and drama are more about telling stories through your movement and actions, but as noted this is more of a comedic style. Dancers here are typically theater aligned with a lot of props telling an upbeat, fun, and comical story. Typically this involves a character, a special costume, and props to reflect your story.

-Dramatic: Dramatic pole tells a story with your movements, similar to the above category, but instead of being comical and upbeat, the story that the dancer is telling is serious and dramatic.

-Low Flow: Low flow is less about the types of technical tricks you execute, and more about flowing through each movement sexily with intention. Think soft, graceful, mindful, demure, seduction.

-Showstopper/Exotic/Stripper Style/Classic Style: This style is probably what most people think of when they think of pole dancing. This style blends tricks with flowy movements for a show stopping performance. Dancers do not have to strip down if they do not want to. This is more about putting on a good show and showcasing your seduction skills with other elements of dance.

And of course there are many more and blends of all of the above, but those are the most common. 

lol yes this is true, but I wouldn’t say the pole is “doing the work”. Most modern poles come with two modes: static or spin. Each mode has its own pros and cons and each dancer has their preference. There are spins that work better on spin and not on static and vice versa. Lately I’ve been really vibing with static pole. 

Soooo each time I perform I break these into two basic categories: dolla throwing events and non-dolla events. Dolla throwing events are typically auditioned shows or competitions where the dancer is earning a wage and tips for showcasing their skills. Tip bucket-ers (pole kittens) walk around with buckets to collect tips and audience members can also throw dollars at the performer. Just because it’s a dollar throwing event, does *not* mean that dancers must strip down; however, routines and shows may be very explicit or raunchy.

Non-dolla events are more like non-auditioned comps or studio showcases where a studio throws an event for friends and family where students can show off what they’ve been working on.

Each competition has its own rules and regulations, think more like vertical gymnastics: that’s our base. We are judged typically either on an artistic scale or a technical scale. Artistic scales are more based on “how well did you tell your story/emotion?” and technical scales are more based on “how well did you execute each move and transition?”

Some shows are auditioned and some are not. Typically shows are dolla events. Strip club rules apply: you do not touch the dancers. If you hold up your arms/hands in the formation of an “X” across your chest dancers will not interact with you. We do not give privates or lap dances. 

This was touched on briefly above, but to explicitly state: pole dancers are not strippers. Some strippers are pole dancers and vice versa, but the two are not mutually exclusive.

Stripping: ultimate form of customer service. Making the customer happy. Making the customer feel wanted, desired, special. Putting on a “party” persona to elevate your tips. Having your 1-2 songs onstage and the rest of the time socializing with customers and giving lap dances and privates and giving the customer the intimate experience they are paying for.

Pole dancers: Showgirl, focus is more on putting on a good show and not making the customer happy on an individual basis. Typically this is a prepared routine with a specific ambiance, style, and costume. Vibe is less intimate, less personal, and more about “Vegas showgirl burlesque style you will throw dollars at me because I’m doing this amazing performance” vibes like “you’re lucky you get to see me perform” and less “wow, my  night really sucked until you showed up [give me money]”. We do not do private dances, but may interact with the audience as part of an act. 

*Sigh*. This is a hotly debated topic. I won’t get too much into it because I really don’t feel like arguing with anyone about something I hold so dear, but personally I consider my routines and anyone else who performs for cash sex work. The very definition of sex work only states there there is a monetary transaction for a sexually explicit form of entertainment. That’s very vague, and since that’s so vague, I consider many pole performances sex work; however, not all of them are. (i.e., as described above, a comedic routine may not be considered ‘sexual’, whereas an exotic or classic style performance probably is).

This is very dependent on your own personal dancing style, your comfortability around sexual performances, nudity, and sexuality, and what you are trying to convey to your audience.

Making this very clear: BOTH ARE VERY VALID. Sex work is real work. Stripping is real work. They’re just different sides of a similar coin and we wouldn't have pole dancing to begin with without strippers. I consider us on the same side, those who like to argue will say something different, but I prefer to work in cooperative environments and not toxic ones. In short, I support both pole dancers and strippers, even if they don't see eye-to-eye with me on this topic. We're all valid here, babes. 

That’s hard to say because everyone gets involved with pole for various reasons. Some are strippers looking to master the craft, others really are more “pole sport” people and are more interested in the fitness benefits, some people just want to try and get in touch with a side of themselves they never knew before. Everyone is different in this aspect. :-) 

No. I consider myself a part of the “performative sex work” side of pole dancing; I am not a stripper and never pretended to be one. I would not like that lifestyle, for various reasons. Again, both are very valid, though.

You can see me at a show, though :-) Feel free to stop by at any of my shows! It’s so much fun when I have a cheering section! 

Absolutely not! The biggest reason most dancers aren’t wearing much clothing as pole dancers is that (not only is it sexy) but it’s also practical. Think about it: we are basically vertical gymnasts. Gymnasts do not have their feet or hands covered as that is where the grip is to grip the bars they use. The same standard exists for pole dancing, except our grip areas are much more than hands and feet because the pole is vertical and not horizontal. As such, armpits, thigh, butt, leg, knee, neck, back, etc. are all grip areas and it really helps to have those areas exposed. Some moves you really shouldn’t execute with clothing on that area for safety reasons.

Companies do make grippy clothes for dancers who don't want to expose themselves; however,  those clothes are very expensive. I mean very. Very. Expensive. Unfortunately, pole is a very expensive hobby. So most dancers I’ve met prefer to just have skin exposed rather than spend a ton of money on grippy clothing.

In general, most venues or shows aren’t even cleared for that kind of full nudity. All shows that I have been in thus far have required at least pasties and a thong to be worn at all times.

Burlesque is similar to stripping and pole dance, but not exactly the same. I am both a burlesque dancer and pole dancer. Burlesque has similar characteristics: seductive, seduction, telling a story or character through movement, but there are also key differences. Burlesque dancers are not aerialists (do not have pole/trick experience) and are more focused on the art of seduction. Burlesque dancers typically take their clothes off slowly and seductively, with some kind of a bit/theme/character, and more audience interaction than you can expect at some pole shows. (some, not all, again it's all very blended.) I without a doubt consider burlesque sex work.

I like to approach all of my performances as pole-lesue.

You sure can!!! Like I said earlier, every body can pole! I began dancing with absolutely 0 experience in dance, movement, or even basic sports. This is the only fitness hobby I’ve ever enjoyed. The only reason I go to the gym is so I can get better at pole dance lol! I’d start by looking up studios in your area; they may be sparse, but the hobby is growing more and more each year. 

No way! Not all want to be the center of attention. Some people are even into pole just for fitness and sport and never ever want to be seen on a stage, some will only perform in a safe space like their home studio. It’s totally all dependent on that person’s goals. Pole dance is such a versatile hobby. 

I love and I hate that we get asked this question so much. I absolutely love and adore that he has so many supportive people who want to make sure he’s okay, but to be honest I really hate this question. It demeans our marriage, our relationship, and my agency as a woman.

My body is just that - mine. I am free to do what I want with it; he is welcome to have his own opinions, but they are all supportive and full of love. If my body is literally the one and only thing that is holding this marriage together we’re already doomed. (if he didn’t want his hot wife to do hot wife shit he wouldn’t have married one lol) If he really had a problem with what I do, honestly we wouldn’t be together because this is important to me and I view it as a valid hobby and form of artistic self expression. I’ve made friends, gained so much self confidence, lost weight, found a community I love, found a way to perform in front of people and so many more pros that I can’t even think of right now. This hobby isn't about him, it’s about me.

Furthermore, my husband is the most supportive partner I could ask for. He’s supportive of every competition, show, photoshoot, class I take. He just wants me to be happy and this hobby makes me very very happy. He’s literally my biggest supporter and I’m so lucky to be with someone so wonderful. In fact, I bounce show ideas off of him! lol!

To be very very honest and clear: this is not something that every couple can have in their lives; we communicate and respect one another and that’s why it works. We make sure we talk about everything and what we are okay with. But those couples who are possessive, break up a lot, who are toxic, etc. will not be able to deal with this in their relationship. It’s similar to the conversations you’d probably have with someone who is on OnlyFans.

Along those same lines I get asked if he “likes” it or not, and I’m sure you can imagine lots of pros and scenarios but I’ll leave you with this: he would never take something that I love and make it about him. Again, this is my hobby and I have total agency within that. My husband treats me as an adult human person, and not as a sex toy, doll, or any other antiquated form of relationship in which I need to “ask” my partner for permission. Permission is always granted because we are equals, we trust and respect one another, and communicate. 

EVERYTHING!!! How it blends all different types of dance, femininity, sexuality, and fitness all into one. How I feel like a popstar at a show. How it’s a form of expression and when you visit a studio you’ll just see people vibing in their environments completely being themselves and living their truest lives. Honestly, as raunchy and sexual as it can be, it’s honestly very very wholesome too.

If you have anything else, feel free to ask!