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I’m a pole dancer. 

Oh no, being an “exotic dancer” is so terrible. It’s so horrible that I’m committed to something. That I push my body and mind to their limits through a creative outlet. Honestly, I’m a terrible person, committing social atrocities. I must be stopped. Using what I know how to do as a way to express myself and my individuality is very wrong. I’m here to confess my sins. 

I have better eating and healthier fitness habits and goals. I know, stop me now. Someone help save me from the despair I am putting my body through. It’s terrible that I work out and train at the dance studio I attend 3-5 days a week. I really do need to be saved. 

My confidence is increasing. It’s getting too high. It’s so horrible that I’m learning new ways to feel good about myself and my body. 

I’ve found a community of other salacious and sinful pole dancers. They’re so supportive it’s absolutely unbelievable. The fact that you find no negativity in the community just cements the fact that it’s an awful way to spend your time. Who needs a community of loving friends when you have other people in your life to keep you occupied? 

I strengthen my body and my mind simultaneously by dancing. It’s really a problem. I learn new things every day and challenge myself; I must be losing it. 

I’m even a competitive dancer. It’s abysmal that I train, choreograph, and challenge parts of myself to showcase my talent and skills among others to be judged. I should probably just find a less sinful and more approachable hobby, huh? Who needs a creative dancing outlet that has only benefits, and very few negatives? 

So to answer the question, “must it be pole dancing?” Yes, yes it must. If you are completely oblivious to my sarcastic tone, here’s your /s. 

Keep on rocking, slayyymos. 

Pleasers, Pirouettes, and Pop Punk.