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“I wish I looked like them when I danced.” “I wish I was more creative with my movements.” “I wish I had the same energy, but at the same time the same control that they have.” “I wish I could do that move, but sometimes my body just doesn’t move that way.” “I wish I felt more comfortable dancing.” 

Just like a lot of people I really struggle with comparing myself to others. To be totally honest I didn’t even have my own dancing social media until about 1 year into dancing, and I didn’t join pole communities online until around 2 years in. And ya know why? Here’s what I didn’t want to happen:

I haven’t found something that I loved like this in a long time. Something that I can have success in, but my own way. What I know I tend to do is compare myself to people who have been dancing for 10+ years and then become discouraged with the fact that I don’t move like that. I don’t bend like that. I don’t flow like that. Well – fuck it that’s okay. I don’t bend like that because I’ve only been dancing for 3 years. You shouldn’t let that get you down either.

I’m sure you’ve heard that it takes about 10,000 hours on average to master a skill? This adage comes from Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers. (New research actually suggests that not only do you have to practice the skill, but good teaching and the quality of that practice matters as well [but it’s also kind of like “duh”, of course that matters too? Not sure who decided that Gladwell literally only meant to practice something for 10,000 hours is enough because that’s definitely not what he meant.]) In any case – let’s do that math. 

Let’s say I’ve been dancing for 4 days a week, 1.5 hours each time, for 3 years.

52 weeks in a year x 3 for 3 years = 156 weeks

156 weeks x 4 times a week = 624

624 x 1.5 hours = 936

936 < 10,000

I’ve only been dancing for 936 hours, not even close to the 10,000 mark. Nowhere near 10,000. Not even 1/10 of the way there yet.

Some say that even 10,000 hours may not be enough to master a skill. 

People on the outside only see your output in whatever you decide to post online. What they don’t get to see is the work of those 10,000 hours. The struggles. The small successes. That you moved your leg off the pole more than you did last week – and those small successes are what makes practicing worth it. They don’t see the fact that you finally completed a certain stretch without pain, which means you are getting closer and closer to your flexibility and strength goals. What they don’t see is that most people have jobs that they need to attend full-time (fuck I wish I could dance full-time) and those 10,000 hours of practicing are always after other responsibilities and other things in life that come first (which sucks, but unless you’re born a millionaire, we’ve got to make a living, ya know? [Side note: no one talks about how hard it is to “have it all”. It’s so fucking hard dude.]) 

They may not see it, but I see it. I see you. 

I’m not a master yet. Not even close. I’ll get there one day, and so will you. Practice makes progress, it doesn’t make perfect. 

Keep going. Keep learning. Keep dancing. KEEP BEING YOU.

References

Gladwell, Malcolm. Outliers: The Story of Success. Amazon, 2008, www.amazon.com/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0316017922. 

Gladwell, Malcolm. “Outliers: The Story of Success.” **PubMed Central, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2012, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4662388/.
Young, Jeffrey R. “Researcher behind ‘10,000-Hour Rule’ Says Good Teaching Matters, Not Just Practice – Edsurge News.” EdSurge, 24 Mar. 2022, www.edsurge.com/news/2020-05-05-researcher-behind-10-000-hour-rule-says-good-teaching-matters-not-just-practice#:~:text=You’ve%20probably%20heard%20of,as%20good%20as%20Bill%20Gates.